WE IDIOTS !

As usual, my morning started with me, my newspaper and a hot cup of tea for company. Panchu, (for readers who are not in the know, Panchu happens to be our trusted pariah dog, who has a mind of his own and makes no bones about speaking it out), was spread like a frog on the carpet beside me.

Suddenly I could hear Panchu say, “So Master, what are they saying about the film ‘3 Idiots’ today in the newspaper.”

I answered, “Panchu, the paper is saying that ‘3 Idiots’ is the top grosser amongst all the films relased till date. As I was pleasantly surprised to hear Panchu ask me that, I asked, “Hey, you too are following news of “the biggest hit” till date?” I asked.

“What do you mean?” answered Panchu, “I am fully aware that inspite of the so called inflation and the middle class tightening its belt, ticket sales of ‘3 Idiots’ have created a record of sorts” Panchu remarked. “Not to forget the controversy and ill feelings surrounding the film regarding Mr. Chetan Bagat, the writer of the four year old ‘Five Point Someone’ book, on which this film is supposed to be based on.”

“Who cares, Panchu! And what controversary you are talking about” I said.

“Chetan Bhagat has turned out to be the biggest idiot albeit a clever one at that” I continued. “He had sold the rights of his novel to the film makers and as Mr. Hirani himself read out from the contract that Mr. Bhagat signed, which clearly mention that they had purchased the rights of the novel and they have complete authority to alter the text to suit the screen. They also had a clause which mentioned that Mr. Bhagat’s credit would be in the end rolling credits. So, why did Mr. Bhagat create so much drama post the release and that too a bit late seems absurd.”

“See, it must be all a public relation exercise, Master. You should also learn some tricks like these. No wonder you are not getting anywhere in you film career”.

Now! Now! Panchu, please, I don’t want you to educate me on how to further my career in films.”

“But Master, don’t you see, this publicity business was orchestrated by both parties”

“I doubt that Panchu, Mr. Chetan Bhagat is already a well established writer, maybe not a very good one at that but he is very popular nonetheless. Also, Mr. Vinod Chopra, Mr. Rajkumar Hirani and Mr. Aamir khan are much decent and intelligent film personalities to resort to such publicity gimmicks. In fact, they were pretty confident of their film and its merits from day one. Have you forgotten the previous two hits from Rajkumar Hirani?”

“Oh, yes! yes!, how can I not forget his earlier films” remarked Panchu.

“Munnna bhai made all of us start loving our neighbourhood don and Lage Raho did so much for Gandhian values, even Gandhi would not have been able to do that himself, if he was yet alive.

“Yes, I do agree Master, but don’t you think, this time they all have gone a bit too far. Making a mockery of our prestigious educational institute, digging fun at the middle class status of one of the primary characters and the pathetic condition of his sick father was really not very healthy. And, what have you to say about the so called hilarious speech scene enacted by that character ‘chatur’ where the word ‘chamatkar’(miracle) is replaced by ‘balatkar’ (rape) and the whole speech takes on a different meaning altogether. I remember all the audiences were in splits though during that scene. The audience is becoming a nation full of idiots I say.”

“Oh, come of it, Panchu . It was meant to be just a joke including the Sanskrit language bit he talks about later in that same speech.”

“Joke?” Panchu growled, “how can one joke about something as serious as ‘rape’, its just not done Master. As film makers, I feel they should have had some conscious there. They could have altered the use of that particular word and yet make it as hilarious as ever. Resorting to something as horrendous and tragic as “rape” and laughing away to glory was not expected from Mr. Hirani”.

Now my tea was getting cold with this heated debate. I looked at Panchu and saw his “all ears” expression, so I got up and hopped into the kitchen to make some more tea.

“Well, have you finished master?” Panchu asked, “Not yet” I said. “I need to take break”.

“OK, I will take a leak then” said Panchu and darted out of the house.


I N T E R M I S S I O N


Moments later, I settled in with a fresh cuppa hot tea and Panchu joined in after relieving his bladder.

“Look here Panchu, why don’t you look at the brighter side of the film. Leave aside the controversies and the ‘what they should not have done in the film’ angle, what should be lauded is that the film tackles lot of issues and problems like educational reforms need to be done, pressure and stress needs to be eased off, hard work and merit will always be rewarded rather than praying to gods n goddesses, one should always explore towards innovation and not follow rigid age old patterns, never to lose hope and always expect and will for the best to happen, follow your passion and interest and one can surely make a great career out of it. In fact, the scooter powered flourmill, a cycle powered horse shaver and exercycle-cum-washing machine shown in the film has brought to notice all the innovative ways in which one can do constructive things, also prompting Mr. Vidhu Vinod Chopra to quietly announce a fund for three real life brains – a Kerala teen, a UP barber and a Maharashtra painter whom inspired Rancho, the character Aamir Khan plays in the film.”

“So, Mr.Chopra is after all not a very bad person that he is made out to be. Besides shouting at and being rude to reporters and journalist, he is also known for doing good deeds like this.” Panchu commented.

He further added, “I do agree master but somewhere the film leaves you with a note of discontent. I don’t buy it when the film tells us that our education system at higher levels is idiotic. Also, not everybody can be a genius like the main character in the film, Ranchordas Chanchad. For everybody else, one does need to put in tremendous amount of hard work and Rote learning.

“Panchu”, I interrupted, “You need not take the film too seriously. Just laugh it off like all the millions of audience have done here in India and now even abroad. That’s the reason the film is a resounding success.”

“Yes, yes, I know that, even Aamir was heard saying ‘ I have no idea how to describe what is happening, some suggestions and explanations PLEASE’

“That’s coming from Aamir Khan?” I asked.

“Yep, Master. Can you believe that?”

“Anyways, Panchu what I say is, the film is enjoyable and much better than all the mindless so called comedies running at multiplexes. Yes, I do see your point of argument that it could have been handled with much more sensitivity and yet retain that same amazing humour for which Raj Kumar Hirani is famous for. For reasons best known to them, they have taken a different route yet proved to be hugely successful and popular.”

“Good for them, Master. Now, I just want to ask you when will your film get ready and attain this kind of success and popularity.”

“I am still working at it Panchu. You just need to wait and watch and I am sure you will be the first one to see it”

“ and yes, when you do, please go easy on my film, critically I mean” I added.

“Now, that’s an idiotic thing to say Master” replied Panchu and spread out lazily on the carpet.